A Redemption Story

I’ve said it often: there is very little that is romantic about a blended family. Ninety percent of it is logistics and ops, running interference plays, and executing retrospectives. And yet, I’ve come to realize that you can fall in love with everyday circumstances. Particularly when you recognize that your story isn’t just about you, it’s about a greater love story – a redemption story.

My partner of several years recently amazed me in a very romantic gesture of proposal, pulling off a double-blind surprise for both myself and our close friends. His grandmother’s ring that adorns my finger (presented in the original box even!) represents a bygone era of chivalry and romance. Those were much simpler times, and it is reflecting on that I feel myself compelled to look upon what we have with contentment and gratitude, despite the challenges we have and will face.

Over the past several years we’ve learned some critical lessons. None of them are romantic or fun. Our journey has been difficult with a mountain of introspection and intentionality. I’ve learned as much about myself as I have about him, and none of it has been easy or particularly pleasant.

Throughout our journey we’ve stepped on each other, triggered each other, have come to many points in our relationship that I was fairly convinced would break us. We struggle with making each other a priority while raising our own children. Our different cultures, different parenting styles, and mostly our strong personalities would cause each of us would dig our heels in, convinced the other one was the one who needed to change. Or, perhaps worse, we recognized that we were both independent, fully functioning adults and weren’t beholden to the other for happiness; so there wasn’t a whole-hearted commitment to be “all in”.

The larger truth is I was having a hard time accepting that despite all my hard work, there was still more heart work to be done. This work wasn’t the kind you could do on your own – it was relational heart work that requires a willing and capable partner to journey with you. The type of heart work that makes you come to the end of yourself and realize you don’t have what it takes to make it work. The harsh realization that you are broken, your partner is broken, and the relationship requires epic redemption for a happily ever after to be possible.

Enter the chivalrous hero of the story. There is a greater love story that transpires to redeem the broken. God’s love story is that when we trust in His saving grace, we invite redemption into something that would otherwise be lost. The heart work isn’t easy, sexy, or graceful. But what lies on the other side is worth it.

My desire for a true partner has been redeemed. My desire for a larger family has been redeemed. My desire for generational healing and restoration is being laid out in real time. There are many times I doubted that my desires were known or worthy. They were both. I am known by someone who in turn desired to reward my faithfulness in His timing. None of those desires has been fulfilled in a way I would have chosen for myself, and yet the answer from God was still a resounding “Yes!”

So what does this next leg of my journey have in store? More evenings spent in charming dialogue about parenting decisions? More steamy nights of rhetoric as we continuously learn the art of communication and how to truly listen to each other? More challenges, disagreements, and compromises as we ride off into the sunset as a blended family of seven?

Very little of everyday life with a blended family is romantic. The fact is that we are part of a much larger story, one that speaks of ultimate love, sacrifice, and belonging. Being known at that deep and intimate level, well, that is by far the most romantic gesture of them all.

#blendedfamilylife #redemption