God and... Success

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm currently going through a summer virtual Bible study on the book of Judges. One of the judges God brings forth is a man named Gideon.

As we are first introduced to Gideon, we see he is a man of good character. Humble, unsure of his worthiness to be used by God, he seeks to understand God and fulfill His work. But as time goes on and Gideon sees impossible victories over Israel's captors, we see his attitude shift dramatically. Humility is replaced with pride and entitlement. Over time, the idol of success creeps into Gideon's heart and he worships it whole-heartedly.

As I read the story of Gideon I noticed pieces of myself in his story. I have long been addicted to my career. I was raised with a strong work ethic and to not stand idly around waiting for success to come to you. Successful people are those willing to work hard and make it happen. All good teachings and fundamentals I am also imparting on my own children. Unfortunately, that also came with a tinge of "never enough". Don't spend too long celebrating your success, because there is another mountain just ahead that needs conquering. Combined with a strong affinity for perfection, it can lead to someone who is willing to put career over everything else for the promise of climbing the corporate ladder.

As Gideon continued with his military victories, he began to get angry when he was not given the glory and honor for those victories. While I'm not seeking honor, I had allowed myself to become addicted to and dependent on career success. The problem with that is multi-fold; but specifically success can cause us to forget God's grace. Desperate to believe that I am in control, when I incorrectly attribute the source of my success, it only confirms my false belief, which perpetuates the cycle.

When I worship the career idol, I am actually trying to stay in control, by giving in to what the idol wants so that it gives me what I want. If I work extra hours, I'll be seen as a hustler and will get promoted. If I go the extra mile, I'll be seen as dedicated and will be appreciated more. If I handle three times the workload of everyone else, I'll be seen as capable and will be given other opportunities. This, by definition, is manipulation.

Because I am a high "S" and an Enneagram 6, I will hang in there on a dead end job far longer than I should. Over the years I've had several employers abuse this to their advantage. True to my nature I will double down and worker harder while offering myriads of excuses on the sliver of a hope of change. "Just this one last death march project and then no more." "It's OK that your boss lacks integrity as long as you maintain yours." "I'll spin it this way to my team so it sounds positive." On and on it goes until something occurs that causes a 180-degree shift back to true North.

Because I have an extremely strong work ethic and have been gifted many talents that are useful in the workforce, finding a new path has always been relatively easy. Until there is a pandemic. And millions of qualified people are unemployed. And companies aren't hiring because the world is paralyzed with fear. It is during this season that God is using this time to teach me a few things. First - While my career is important, it isn't #1. Second - God will be the one to appoint my next path. Third - He gets the glory and honor for any success I might have in my career.

I often remember that I am saved by grace when I fail. How much more do I need to remember it when I succeed! Even in success, I need to remember to praise God for the means and the opportunity. I haven't been consistently good at this; perhaps this next time around I'll manage to keep the glory where it belongs.