Crisis Schooling

I'm not sure about anyone else, but this season of getting my kids to finish school has been very rough. On the one hand, I am grateful that I have all day to focus on lesson planning, grading school work, helping the kids when they get stuck, and ensuring they have mastered the concepts. Only a few weeks ago when I was home schooling and working at the same time I was staying up well past midnight every night to get it all done. And yet even with the alleviation of work I still feel very overwhelmed and I'd be lying if I didn't say that nearly every day ended in tears for both myself and my son (plus some swearing from me).

Have I told you about my friend Julie? Julie is the mother of four girls and has home-schooled for years. Although our different lives would lead you to believe we have very little in common, the truth is we connect wholeheartedly through what we do share. We both share pride in our children, we both have regrets for losing our temper, we both love with a fierce, bold love, we both encounter times of loneliness, we both have days with tears and laughter. At the center is our knowledge that we are audaciously known by our loving Creator and our continued pursuit of being known relationally here on Earth.

Because of our relationship I had little hesitation to pick up the phone and call her late one evening as I was near a nervous breakdown. My son was finally completing his work after several hours of arguing, flat out refusal, the subsequent loss of privileges, followed by tears and more yelling, and I was simply d-o-n-e. Even though I trust Julie, my temptation was still to downplay how bad things were. I still had the urge to portray that I had things under control and the inmates really weren't running the asylum. Instead I made the uncomfortable choice to just be completely vulnerable with Julie about the myriad of emotions that were hitting me from all sides in that moment.

What I love about Julie is shown in how she chose to respond. "Laura, you aren't home schooling," she told me. "You are crisis schooling and there's a big difference." She could have taken the opportunity to valid herself as a stay-at-home mom and home schooling parent. She didn't. She didn't use my weakness to feed her own ego. Julie simply sought to validate my feelings in that moment. This week God used my friend to say "I hear you" and my choice to be courageously real was met with compassion and empathy, not judgement or shame.

Moments of crisis are often marked with despair and hopelessness. They can also be a time when we can choose to be vulnerable and make our needs, and ultimately ourselves, known. I am thankful for Julie and her reminder to me to be a good listener where it is needed. As the COVID pandemic goes on, I guarantee there are a lot of people feeling despair at the loss of control over our normal way of life. Whether it's a job loss, crisis schooling woes, too much together time, or frustration at spending all day cleaning the kitchen because we are now eating more meals at home than ever before, what a beautiful opportunity to connect! May I not waste this opportunity to strengthen and build new relationships.

#wholehearted #crisisschooling #homeschoolingwoes