Finding My Creativity

I was speaking with my friend Lisa the other night, bemoaning my current life crises when she gave me an interesting challenge. Someone years ago had challenged her to make a list of 100 things to do/accomplish in her life - kind of like a bucket list but it was things to do (versus places to visit). "I'll bet you have a hard time getting to 100" she told me. You know what? She was right!

I started my list with confidence but by around 30 I was struggling. In my list I had already gone great white shark cage diving, climbed Everest, helped my kids become entrepreneurs, own a beach house in Charleston, made a huge dent in human trafficking and I was running low on other ways to help myself, my family, or the missions I care about. I could have filled the list with places to visit, but that wasn't the point of the list. I wanted to be sincere with the exercise and yet I was failing to harness my inner child. It was at that point that it hit me - at what stage had I allowed the doldrums of every day life to wring my creativity from me?

Being a solo parent isn't exactly an easy road. All decisions, all responsibilities, all adulting has a single point of success or failure - you. The demands of life don't slow down just because you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, or alone. I've long been mocked for this, but if I don't schedule fun in my house it doesn't happen. The end result of not having margin in my life is simply loss. Loss of moments to breathe, to sit and think, be fun, be creative, or simply to just be.

Furthermore, during this season of my life when I actually had the margin to be still and reflect, was I? Or was I filling my time with more "stuff"and worry? For a busybody like myself it takes a good amount of discipline to learn to be still. Practicing the art of "soul rest" is a learned skill. Making it a daily habit and part of your lifestyle takes even more effort! And for me, it was proving extremely difficult to come to a near complete stop.

Well friends, after about a week's worth of thinking, searching, and just letting myself write down whatever I wanted without my inner critic coming out, I made it to #90 on my list. #90? Find my creativity. After I wrote it I thought, "Is this a destination to be reached or more of a growth track?" I personally think it's a spark that can grow into a fire if you feed it the right fuel. It has moments of roaring and others that are more of a smoulder, but is mostly something that can stay with you and grow provided it gets fed every once in a while.

Somewhere along my years of raising my kids, working to provide for my family, house projects, obligations, and just "doing life" creativity stepped to the bottom of the priority list. Should it take the place over providing for my family? No, it shouldn't. But could I do a better job of creating a few minutes here or there to let my soul breathe? Yes. Yes I can.

My Top 100 list isn't complete. I still have 10 more to go and I'm not giving up on those slots. My hope is that what makes it on that list are my heart desires. My even greater hope is that these outrageous things get manifested in healthy ways as I allow myself to become known through vulnerability and surrender. Over the next few months I'm going to be picking out some things on my list and sharing as they come to mind.

What about you? How long has it been since you made a Top 100?

#findyourcreativity #bestill